Sugarfree Stick
Taste: Hear ye now: THE RIDICULOUSLY LONG LASTING THING IS NOT JUST GIMMICK. It really is ridiculously long lasting. It stays at about fresh-doublemint strength for, like, an hour, maybe an hour and a half. After that, it fades just a leetle bit, and gets sorta tough but not bad. It's about two hours into the piece before you have any good excuse to spit it out. Plus, the spearmint taste is strong and delicious. It isn't any of that crazy stuff where you risk losing your tongue to frostbite, it's just sweet and flavorful. And it tingles!
Texture: Soft, stretchy, substantial enough for extended chewing (and a good thing too). It's even strong enough to blow bubbles! Which is pretty cool, even though the pieces are a little small for that. It's the principle of the thing, though.
Final Notes: The packaging is nifty too! No I am not paid off by Stride. I know since I wield such amazing power it would be easy to make such assumptions but it's not true. This stuff is really that good.
10/10
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Skittles Bubble Gum
novelty bubble gum
Taste: What can I say? It tastes like Skittles, for about a minute and a half. The flavor life may be disappointing, but the flavor isn't, because after all, who doesn't like Skittles? Who doesn't like just to say "Skittles"? Skittles, Skittles, Skittles...
Texture: If it wasn't for the little white "gum" under each "S," you could easily make the assumption that the factory packaged these wrong--silly people, you put normal Skittles in a box marked 'gum'! They look the same, they taste the same, and they chew the same, soft and a little gummy with a very slight sugary crunch. But if you are capable of compartmentalizing your chewing while the colorful candies mostly dissolve (the recommended two pieces end up about the size of a pencil eraser), you will find, lo and behold, that some of it solidifies into gum! The small size means that if you're one of the kinds like me who will only eat like colored Skittles together, you may have to dump out the whole box searching for enough reds or purples to make a good chew. But really, a 'good chew' isn't that important with novelty gum--half the fun and point is looking at it before you put it into your mouth.
Final Notes: If you really get that much of a charge out of eating Skittles that, psych, are actually gum, you may truly enjoy this product. However, if you're primarily a gum chewer who also happens to like Skittles and think you'll save some money by purchasing both at once, skip it.
3/10
Taste: What can I say? It tastes like Skittles, for about a minute and a half. The flavor life may be disappointing, but the flavor isn't, because after all, who doesn't like Skittles? Who doesn't like just to say "Skittles"? Skittles, Skittles, Skittles...
Texture: If it wasn't for the little white "gum" under each "S," you could easily make the assumption that the factory packaged these wrong--silly people, you put normal Skittles in a box marked 'gum'! They look the same, they taste the same, and they chew the same, soft and a little gummy with a very slight sugary crunch. But if you are capable of compartmentalizing your chewing while the colorful candies mostly dissolve (the recommended two pieces end up about the size of a pencil eraser), you will find, lo and behold, that some of it solidifies into gum! The small size means that if you're one of the kinds like me who will only eat like colored Skittles together, you may have to dump out the whole box searching for enough reds or purples to make a good chew. But really, a 'good chew' isn't that important with novelty gum--half the fun and point is looking at it before you put it into your mouth.
Final Notes: If you really get that much of a charge out of eating Skittles that, psych, are actually gum, you may truly enjoy this product. However, if you're primarily a gum chewer who also happens to like Skittles and think you'll save some money by purchasing both at once, skip it.
3/10
Bazooka Bubble Juice Bubble Gum Nuggets--Sour Green Apple Burst
Novelty Bubble Gum
Taste: Those expecting a sour gum will probably be disappointed by this product, for in spite of the name this gum delivers no more sourness than your typical straight 'green apple' candy. The taste also fades within minutes.
Texture: While the full name might be a mouthful, this gum certainly isn't. The nutrition facts list the suggested serving size as "20 pieces." "Nuggets" is not really the appropriate word choice here; "chips" or perhaps "particles" is a more accurate description. The pieces are so tiny and hard that it doesn't seem there'd be any room for actual gum in them--this isn't candy-coated gum, it's just candy gum. The initial chews fragment the crunchy, brittle pieces so much that it's a feat to keep from swallowing any, and even keeping them all vaguely in the same part of your mouth is pretty much an impossibility. My suggestion, if you insist on chewing this gum: work one or two large pieces into a chewable substance, then flatten the wad and put a few new pieces in the middle and wrap them up, so that they stay together while they soften. The fact that it has to be chewed this scientifically, however, should be a tipoff. Plus, when the gum is through being gritty, it's already tough, and so is very poor bubble material.
Final Notes: "Bubble Juice" is a laughable moniker for this gravelly gum. I imagine it was a failed Bazooka Corporation Labs experiment that got accidentally sent to the marketing department. But hey, it comes in a resealable pouch!
2/10
Taste: Those expecting a sour gum will probably be disappointed by this product, for in spite of the name this gum delivers no more sourness than your typical straight 'green apple' candy. The taste also fades within minutes.
Texture: While the full name might be a mouthful, this gum certainly isn't. The nutrition facts list the suggested serving size as "20 pieces." "Nuggets" is not really the appropriate word choice here; "chips" or perhaps "particles" is a more accurate description. The pieces are so tiny and hard that it doesn't seem there'd be any room for actual gum in them--this isn't candy-coated gum, it's just candy gum. The initial chews fragment the crunchy, brittle pieces so much that it's a feat to keep from swallowing any, and even keeping them all vaguely in the same part of your mouth is pretty much an impossibility. My suggestion, if you insist on chewing this gum: work one or two large pieces into a chewable substance, then flatten the wad and put a few new pieces in the middle and wrap them up, so that they stay together while they soften. The fact that it has to be chewed this scientifically, however, should be a tipoff. Plus, when the gum is through being gritty, it's already tough, and so is very poor bubble material.
Final Notes: "Bubble Juice" is a laughable moniker for this gravelly gum. I imagine it was a failed Bazooka Corporation Labs experiment that got accidentally sent to the marketing department. But hey, it comes in a resealable pouch!
2/10
Monday, March 3, 2008
Bubblicious Twisted Tornado
Brick Bubble Gum
Taste: Somewhere deep in the bowels of the bubblicious artificial fruit flavoring underground lab, mad bubblegum scientists tested their latest attempt to master artificial peach, and discovered... it didn't taste a whole lot like peach. But it was yummy anyway! So they approximated what flavors it probably tasted like (orange, watermelon, and peach, apparently, which sounds kind of gross but isn't), came up with a cool name (if a bit redundant, since I'm pretty sure all tornadoes are twisted), colored it blue (what?) and slapped it onto c-store racks as their newest NEW! flavor. It's interesting, and suggests nothing if not fruit--even if WHAT fruit that is specifically might be questionable--but it fades within five to ten minutes. Le sigh. If you chew it for too long after that, it also starts to taste icky-sour.
Texture: Popping a mouthful of soft, juicy bubblicious gum is a workable definition of bliss. Chew a little of the sugar out and it makes lovely big blue bubbles. Alas, by the time the flavor is gone, the pliability of the gum is much diminished and the bubble quality is impaired. Continue for much longer, and it gets awfully tough.
Final Notes: An appealingly weird flavor from a standby brand. Well done and fun to chew.
7/10
Taste: Somewhere deep in the bowels of the bubblicious artificial fruit flavoring underground lab, mad bubblegum scientists tested their latest attempt to master artificial peach, and discovered... it didn't taste a whole lot like peach. But it was yummy anyway! So they approximated what flavors it probably tasted like (orange, watermelon, and peach, apparently, which sounds kind of gross but isn't), came up with a cool name (if a bit redundant, since I'm pretty sure all tornadoes are twisted), colored it blue (what?) and slapped it onto c-store racks as their newest NEW! flavor. It's interesting, and suggests nothing if not fruit--even if WHAT fruit that is specifically might be questionable--but it fades within five to ten minutes. Le sigh. If you chew it for too long after that, it also starts to taste icky-sour.
Texture: Popping a mouthful of soft, juicy bubblicious gum is a workable definition of bliss. Chew a little of the sugar out and it makes lovely big blue bubbles. Alas, by the time the flavor is gone, the pliability of the gum is much diminished and the bubble quality is impaired. Continue for much longer, and it gets awfully tough.
Final Notes: An appealingly weird flavor from a standby brand. Well done and fun to chew.
7/10
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